Mystery Fun House

By Ira Goldklang

Originally published in EUG #52

Continuing our trawl through those pesky Scott Adams' 'classics', we enter the world of James Bond (You discover this from the letter in the heel of your shoe!) equipped with a piece of chewing gun that has over a million uses! As Adams' parser is so limited, you'll find a number of the walkthrough instructions start with TO. If you find this confusing, imagine that STICK GUM is before each of them.

In front of the FUN HOUSE   DROP WATCH, GO EAST
Parking lot LOOK TREE, GET BRANCH, LOOK GRATE, CHEW GUM, TO BRANCH, WITH BRANCH, DROP BRANCH, DROP GUM, GO WEST
In front of the FUN HOUSE WEAR SHOES, GIVE DOLLAR, GO FUN
Magical mirror room GO NORTH
Windy maze GO NORTH, GO NORTH, GO WEST, GO WEST, GO WEST
Room with low ceiling PULL GREEN (The wall will close behind you transporting you to the...)
Small room GET TRAMPOLINE, GO SOUTH
Shooting gallery GET SPECTACLES, GO NORTH
Small room GO UP (The wall will close behind you)
Room with low ceiling GO WEST
Beside LARGE tank GO UP
Sloping hallway GO UP
Small landing GO UP
Rickety staircase GO UP
Ledge over a deep pit DROP TRAMPOLINE, GO EAST
Large rolling barrel room GET MATCH, GET COMB, CRAWL, DROP MATCH, GO SOUTH
Rickety staircase GO DOWN
Small landing GO SLIDE (Splash! Oh no, you'll be all washed up!)
Windowed tank GET KEY, GIVE COMB (She turns a hidden knob), GO STAIRS
Small landing GO EAST
Windy hall GO EAST, GO SOUTH, GO EAST, GO SOUTH, GO EAST
Magical mirror room WEAR SPECTACLES, LOOK MIRROR (You will see a hidden door), OPEN DOOR, GO DOOR
Observation chamber DROP SPECTACLES, GET HANDLE, GO EAST
Magical mirror room GO NORTH
Windy maze GO NORTH, GO NORTH, GO WEST, GO WEST
Small room GO WEST (The wall will close behind you)
Room with low ceiling DROP KEY, GO WEST
Beside LARGE tank GO UP
Sloping hallway GO UP
Small landing GO UP
Rickety staircase GO UP
Ledge over a deep pit GET TRAMPOLINE, GO LADDER (You will be stranded as it retracts)
Pit DROP TRAMPOLINE, DROP HANDLE, PUSH HANDLE, TURN HANDLE, GO TRAMPOLINE
On Trampoline JUMP (Wheeee!)
Ledge over a deep pit GET MATCH, GO SOUTH
Rickety staircase GO DOWN
Small landing GO NORTH
Sloping hallway GO DOWN
Beside LARGE tank GO EAST
Room with low ceiling DROP MATCH, GET KEY, PULL BLUE
Small room GO EAST
Large room with tall ceiling PUSH BLUE (The ride will stop), GO MERRY
On Merry-Go-Round GO HORSE, CLIMB POLE (You will be hit with a bit of hemp)
On top of ride LOOK UP, JUMP
Catwalk GO EAST
Store room UNLOCK DOOR, DROP KEY, LOOK SHELVES, GET FLASHLIGHT, GET WRENCH, GO WEST
Catwalk GO DOWN
On top of ride GO DOWN
Merry-Go-Round horse GO DOWN
On Merry-Go-Round GO DOWN
Large room with tall ceiling GO SOUTH
Small room GET SIGN, GO DOWN
Room with low ceiling PULL GREEN
Small room GO SOUTH
Shooting gallery DROP SIGN, GO NORTH
Small room GO UP
Room with low ceiling GET MATCH, PULL YELLOW (You will hear strange music)
Small room GO NORTH
Windy maze GO EAST, GO SOUTH, GO EAST, GO SOUTH, GO EAST
Magical mirror room GO SOUTH
In front of the FUN HOUSE GO EAST
Parking lot WITH WRENCH, SLIDE GRATE, DROP WRENCH, GET GUM, LIGHT FLASHLIGHT, GO MANHOLE
Manhole GO EAST
Sewer system CLOSE DOOR, DROP TICKET, REMOVE HEEL, DROP HEEL, GET FUSE, CHEW GUM, TO FUSE, TO GRATE, LIGHT FUSE, GET TICKET, GO HOLE
Long tunnel GO UP
Large room GO SOUTH
Hidden laboratory GET PLANS